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My friend Miles – he who attracts women the way cheese attracts mice – was successful not just because he looked like the bastard son of Hugh Grant and Rob Lowe but because he knew how to be fun.
He was naturally outgoing and positive and instinctively understood how to make people feel good, how to feel guy who liked to tease and play around with everyone – especially the girls he was attracted to – and they would respond with great enthusiasm.
And yet there were a few people in my social circle who could – to put it charitably – punch well outside of their apparent weight class.
They were not classically handsome – in fact, many of them were fat and balding.
Fun people are also positive; excessively negative people suck the energy out of the room and kill the mood while positive people help energy.
Fun people make others feel comfortable and have a better grasp on how to read people’s signs and moods and can adjust themselves as needed.
This makes the difference between someone who’s fun and someone who’s just a clown: fun people can find the line and know when things are appropriate or not while a clown tends to blunder on regardless of mood or intent.
It’s a very simple premise: we instinctively like people who make us feel good.
The better they make us feel, the more we like them.